Thursday, November 8, 2007

My Owner is Looking for Me

My owner is sad.

Now that I am gone, there is something missing in his life. You see, trying to smoke without me just isn't the same. He's been trying to light a piece of chocolate, but it just isn't to be the way it used to be before (besides, the burning plastic of the wrapping paper may be kind of dangerous, too). I never realised how much my master needed me and how much he couldn't live without me. I am very touched - but hey, he is the one who abandonned me in this room, he's the only one to blame.

He's been sending the following email to everyone:

Title: Crime!!!

A most terrible crime has been committed: one of my pipes has been abducted and is now held for ransom, most likely on the 6th floor where the horrible deed occurred! And as my investigations conclusively prove, there are several persons who know its whereabouts and are protecting the guilty person!

Before I feel obliged to resort to drastic measures (like closing the candy tray) I will give the criminal a last chance to return my pipe – unharmed! – and I may magnanimously forget this foul incident!

Well well well. See, he could have said "my favourite pipe has been abducted", or "a pipe that is very dear to me". He could have called me "special" or "unique". But no. What he says is: "One of my pipes".

So is that what I represent to his eyes? Only one of his pipes? Don't you think that I deserved a better status than that?

From now he will have to deal with the fact that I am not only "one of his pipes". I am the Escaped Pipe.

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