Reunion with my Master

Don't ask me why, but I decided to return to my Master. I think I just couldn't bear the thought of making him depressive on the long run - you know how it is with men, they pretend that they don't care, but inside they're burning...

So I came to meet him at this nice lakeside place in Rixensart where he is apparently attending some kind of meeting... Maybe I should have waited a bit longer, such meetings can be tiring, I tell you...

But when I slipped down to the computer in the lunch break to write this post, he got really mad again, accusing his colleagues of cleptomancy... He still can not cope with the idea me having a personality and my own ways.

So let's wait and see how long I will be able to endure being with him again...

Feeling Lonely...

I must admit that I am a bit disappointed as my master is not actively looking for me any more. I heard he said he doesn’t expect to see me again in the near future, and he wishes me well in my travels...

I even heard rumors about him saying: "If my pipe decided to leave, I won't obly it to come back!" How can he be so unsensitive? After years of trustful services to him, he just forgot me! You might have expected that my disappearence would have attracted his attention to me, but no, he is so busy working that he simply doesn't care anymore...

I have always been a very effective pipe, but a very fragile one and constantly looking for attention. And what did I get? From what I've heard he could not even imagine me being capable of creating such a beautiful blog! Well, I think he better starts preparing for more surprises to come...

Anyway, I decided to stop being sad. After all, I want to enjoy my journey! So, as I was thinking about the wonderful things I can do now being completely free, I ended up in a nice beach bar on the Dutch coast. And here I am, doing something that my master has always been forbidding me: DRINKING A HOT CHOCOLATE (you know: no sweeties at all, no tray, nothing, no way to get some endorphine)! And I have to admit, it works: My mood is all of a sudden going up and up...

Travelling aroung all by myself, however, is getting boring. I think I should start looking for good company... But where? Where can I find, for example, a nice cigar to share my journey with?

As I can be said being still a bit naive, young, but motivated, so an exotic cigar could probably be a good solution to consolate me from the unforgettable abandonment...

My Owner is Looking for Me

My owner is sad.

Now that I am gone, there is something missing in his life. You see, trying to smoke without me just isn't the same. He's been trying to light a piece of chocolate, but it just isn't to be the way it used to be before (besides, the burning plastic of the wrapping paper may be kind of dangerous, too). I never realised how much my master needed me and how much he couldn't live without me. I am very touched - but hey, he is the one who abandonned me in this room, he's the only one to blame.

He's been sending the following email to everyone:

Title: Crime!!!

A most terrible crime has been committed: one of my pipes has been abducted and is now held for ransom, most likely on the 6th floor where the horrible deed occurred! And as my investigations conclusively prove, there are several persons who know its whereabouts and are protecting the guilty person!

Before I feel obliged to resort to drastic measures (like closing the candy tray) I will give the criminal a last chance to return my pipe – unharmed! – and I may magnanimously forget this foul incident!

Well well well. See, he could have said "my favourite pipe has been abducted", or "a pipe that is very dear to me". He could have called me "special" or "unique". But no. What he says is: "One of my pipes".

So is that what I represent to his eyes? Only one of his pipes? Don't you think that I deserved a better status than that?

From now he will have to deal with the fact that I am not only "one of his pipes". I am the Escaped Pipe.

Candy Tray

I always wanted to try that.

You see, every day, my owner fills this candy tray with chocolate and sweets and every day, EVERY SINGLE DAY, he would not let me touch it.

I think that this was a serious issue of trust in our owner-owned relationship.

Anyway, now that I have escaped and that I am free to decide whatever I want to do with my life, I thought that I might as well take a candy bath.

And although my master did not believe that I would ever taste sweets (too bad for my teeth, too good to be given to a pipe - which I believe is a serious case of discrimination), I have to say that I quite like them...

I am afraid that I will have to lobby every now and then for a monthly replacement of tobacco by chocolate.

So that was my first step on my new and amazing journey through my master's office.

Let the Journey Begin!

Today, my life took an entirely unexpected turn. I have been left forgotten in a strange, dark room full of ozone. After lying around for a while and hoping that my Master would return and pick me up, I decided to take the chance and discover the world on my own.

Since, after all, this is the 21th century we live in, I have decided to keep you updated about my travels via this blog. I'll try to post new stories as often as possible and look forward to read your comments on them.